Witchcraft in Our Police Headquarters?

Written by Hayley Douglas

Freak accident on the streets of Baltimore brings the practices of witchcraft in the city's Homicide Unit into light. Detectives Laura Ballard and Rene Sheppard are thought to be those behind the collapsing, and utter demolition, of several of the city's most prominent crack houses.

They were seen by one private investigator, hired by the city for just this matter, quote, "...dancing in circles like total, complete fools. Never seen anything like it. I know Rene, never had the slightest clue...". His reaction was one of disbelief, and now the City of Baltimore is wanting action for the desecration of so many places of business, that keep the fair city afloat.

Fellow detectives put Laura Ballard into custody, along with several other women suspected to be in her coven. The screams that came from her cell later are unparalleled to any this reporter has ever heard. Loud shrieks of madness and rage, that, from what I heard, were not too uncommon from this Detective.

Rene Sheppard was much more toned down, choosing, instead, to rant about being, "beat down", and having her, "gun took". She repeated the same lines like a mantra through the night, and many guards were wary of being taken over with a rare mental sickness that results from this kind of exposure.

The Mayor of Baltimore, who is well known to be deep in the pockets of several drug 'enterprises', was more uneasy then particularly upset. He was reputed to have said something about his, "Mercedes not being paid off now that all the crack houses are being destroyed". Several other important figures also are inducted into this small scandal, but no legal action is being taken as of yet.

In an exclusive interview with the same private investigator, Michael Kellerman, who had by chance snapped many photographs of the near crazed detectives in their strange ritual, he was extremely considerate of the woman. He claims that they were doing Baltimore a favor by knocking some of the junkies that roam our streets out of business.

It has torn the citizens into almost two separate nations, those that are happy that the rock houses were destroyed, and those that are angry that it will now become that much harder to get a fix.

What this reporter sees, is that it is not the witchcraft that is causing the uproar, like most normal cities, but the fact that it was buildings that were connected with the distribution of illegal substances. Surprisingly, most are in favor of having the buildings re-built and handed over to the former owners.

We ran a poll last week on what type of legal action should be used. Two percent said to let the poor women go, twenty-four percent said that they should be incarcerated, and the remaining seventy-four opted that they be gagged, burned, and hung preferably at the same time with a large celebration with champagne that was not bought at a gas station. Those that participated in the pole included the accused co-workers of the Homicide Unit, and several friends and family members.

What does this say about our fair city? When witches can be rampant, and all we see is that the drug supply might get a little tighter in the coming months? Are we sane?

These are just some of the questions you must ask yourself.