Three's A Crowd
Written by Rachel

NOTES: This is for Vali. May Billie Lou rest in . . . well, in a polyester teddy.

It had been a long day and Detective John Munch was tired. Not only had he caught a case twenty minutes before his shift was supposed to end, but he had not gotten much sleep the night before. On what was supposed to be a happy occasion, he had found himself out of shape and humiliated. He sighed as he thought about the evening stretching ahead of him. She would be expecting him to fulfill his marital obligations, but heaven knows he wasn't going to be in top fighting form.

He pulled the mail out of the box and walked into the apartment. There was no sign of the blonde nymph in the living room or kitchen. He dropped the mail on the hall table, shrugged his trench coat off and made his way upstairs. A shower would help a great deal.

As he reached the top of the staircase he could hear noise from the bedroom. She was probably in there waiting for him, ready to do the deed. He sighed again, this time more quietly. He moved slowly down the hall, turned into the doorway and stopped dead.

"What the hell is going on!" he shouted.

Billie Lou pulled her head from between the muscular legs of the trespasser.

"John! What are you doing home? I thought you had to work overtime tonight?" she said, clearly as shocked to see him as he was to see her . . . occupied.

"I . . . what the hell is going on here?" he called out again. "My god . . . we just . . . we were married yesterday, in front of a priest." He reached over and pulled her from the bed. "And you. She's my fucking wife, for Christ's sake!"

"Johnny, just calm down. I can explain," Billie Lou began. He cut her off with his hand.

"No, nothing will explain this away. How could you? With him?"

As Billie Lou started to open her mouth to explain the bathroom door opened. In his shock he hadn't even noticed that the shower was running. The short brunette stepped into the room. Munch's face turned brighter red as he spun once again with fury to face his wife.

"Gharty I would have understood. He's been fawning over you for months, but Falsone? And Ballard? Did you think you would kill me this easily? Collect the pension?" Munch queried.

Billie Lou continued to try to explain, but Munch wouldn't hear it.

"This annulment will be much easier to get . . . we haven't even consummated this one," Munch said, turning to leave. "As for those two . . . I hope you've had your shots."

The End