Visitors from TV 1: "Concern for a Missing Viewer"
Written by Redell
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::tap, tap::
::tap, tap::
::tap, tap::
HOWARD: "What are you up to there, Mikey?"
KELLERMAN: "Where'd she go?"
::tap, tap::
::tap, tap::
::tap, tap::
HOWARD: "She? She who?"
KELLERMAN: "That girl. The one who's been watching us."
HOWARD: "There's no *girl* watching us? You okay?"
KELLERMAN: "I'm serious, Sarge. See this glass?" ::tap, tap::
HOWARD: "Where'd that come from?"
KELLERMAN: "Exactly. Where? And If you look a bit closer, there seems to be another side. "
HOWARD: "I *still* don't see any girl."
KELLERMAN: "She's there. Somewhere."
MUNCH: "What's going on ladies?"
HOWARD: "Kellerman, here is convinced some *girl's* been busy watching us."
MUNCH: "Oooo...Is she still reading 'Lolita'?"
KELLERMAN: "I don't know. I can't see her. I thought it was 'The One Who Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest'?"
HOWARD: "Wait, wait. *You've* seen her?"
MUNCH: "Yea. And you haven't? That's pretty surprising, Kay. She loves you. You're one of her favorites. I happen to be also."
HOWARD: "What? How come I've never heard of her, much less seen her, huh?"
MUNCH: "Your keen detecting skills, as well as your all observing eye have faded. Been dulled, by your prestigious post. Adieu, sweet red-haired maiden."
HOWARD: "Whatever, Munch. I don't see a lot of black under your name.
MUNCH: "Touche."
KELLERMAN: "There she is! Right there! I think I saw something move--Damn, just the curtain. Nice room though."
BAYLISS: "Is she back, yet?"
KELLERMAN: "Nope. And it's been ten minutes now."
HOWARD: "Why is everyone so concerned with this girl, anyway? Is she cute?"
MUNCH: "Kay, I'm hurt. We're all hurt, you'd think *we* a couple of no-nonsense detectives, busy solving some of the great mysteries of murder, would be concerned more with mere beauty, that with the actual intelligence."
HOWARD: "I *know* you. These guys too."
BAYLISS: "Sarge, Munch is right. It has nothing to do with that.
Really, we just want to know why she's watchin' us. Hey Lewis!! Lewis, get in here!! "
LEWIS: "What?! What?!"
BAYLISS: "Do that thing you do. That *thing*"
LEWIS: "What? Huh?"
BAYLISS: "You know, that joke you tell all the time. The one with the bear."
LEWIS: "I don't wanna. I don't even think she likes that joke. Or me."
KELLERMAN: "How do 'ya figure that?"
LEWIS: "First off, she's always leavin' durin' my scenes. Second, she just don't like me."
BAYLISS: "Meldrick, I'm sure she likes you. She *LOVES* me."
PEMBLETON: "Yeah, well, no accounting for taste..."
MUNCH: "Actually, she only leaves when Falsone appears. Therefore, since you're usually him--"
KELLERMAN: "Yea, I know. Don't remind us."
LEWIS: "Hey now, I said, I *was* sorry. How long 'ya gonna hold that against me, huh? Where's the little Grease Head anyway?"
HOWARD: "Not here yet. It's season five."
KELLERMAN: "Oh, how I love repeats!"
BAYLISS: "Viva la Court TV!"
PEMBLETON: "I don't. I swear, if I have *another* stroke...I'm walking out."
HOWARD: "Not 'til season six, remember?"
BAYLISS: "Don't remind me."
HOWARD: "*You* at least got that extra year, Frank."
KELLERMAN: "Trust me, Kay--you didn't miss much."
BAYLISS: "I kinda liked some of those eps."
KELLERMAN: "You would."
MUNCH: "Look--we've got twenty minutes left. Shouldn't we go on with this show."
LEWIS: "Which one is this again?"
MUNCH: "I'm not sure. There's a murder...it's investigated. Yadda yadda yadda."
PEMBLETON: "Ya know, there's some logic in that."
BAYLISS: "In what?"
PEMBLETON: "In what Munch said. Maybe she knows we're watching her.
And if we go on and ignore her, she'll come back."
MUNCH: "Who's watching the watchers? Big brother paranoia?--"
LEWIS: "This ain't 'The X Files', Munchkin."
Pembleton: "But, if this is true, she may not wanna watch anymore."
BAYLISS: "How could she not want to watch us? We're pretty interesting."
HOWARD: "Yeah, *you* are."
BAYLISS: "What is that supposed to mean?"
HOWARD[grinning]: "Nothing."
PEMBLETON: "Hey, Bayliss, you like the idea of someone following your every move? There constantly? Knowing you better than you know yourself?"
LEWIS: "Ain't that what you two do to each other?"
BAYLISS: "Well, you and Kellerman, aren't inseparative yourselves."
HOWARD: "Wasn't it touch ang go for awhile?"
LEWIS: "Shut up."
KELLERMAN(still transfixed on the glass): "Uh...She has to come back sooner or later. The TV still has to be turned off."
MUNCH: "Where the hell did she go?"
KELLERMAN: "Hey, isn't Brodie supposed to be here?"
LEWIS: "Nah. He's on hiatus."
PEMBLETON: "That figures. I don't have time for this. I've got a case to solve. As well do you, Bayliss."
BAYLISS: "I'm not even in this one. Aren't you riding with Lewis, this week? I'm stuck either at the bar, sitting at my desk learning French or interested in some book, I didn't even want to read."
MUNCH: "Don't you already *know* French?"
HOWARD: "I thought you *were* learning Spanish?"
BAYLISS: "Whatever. Point is, Frank--I'll be there in a minute."
PEMBLETON: "Fine. Leave the cases to me! Go off and do whatever the hell you want!!"
BAYLISS: "Okay, yeah..uh.. but, don't mess up my desk."
::tap, tap::
HOWARD: "Will you stop doin' that! You'll break the glass. Let's just go back to work , huh?"
MUNCH: "I'm with the Sarge, she's not coming back."
KELLERMAN: "She has to."
LEWIS: "Whatta you care?"
KELLERMAN: "I've gotta ask her something."
BAYLISS: "Like what?"
KELLERMAN: "Something's are *private*, Timmy. I'm not telling you."
LEWIS: "Ya'd tell me, huh, par'ner?"
KELLERMAN: "Nope. I'll just sit here and wait."
*~*THE END*~*