~~~~~~~~~
I.  "Where Do I Put My Hate?"
by Redell
~~~~~~~~~

I held her hand as she ran away
she gave me,
nothing
but sudden misery. Our love lasted
longer than she
needed it to.
       Three weeks of passion
two seconds
to  discard
me as a fling
I met a guy
Maybe happiness
isn't far fetched
Frank thinks
 I'm crazy
Gharty thinks
I'm
Gay
I cannot
        hurt
those I seem to
love
I hold my
secrets deep
        inside
My past was
          c l o s e d
to be opened by
        Adena
          a child taken
away by perversion.
a sexual innocent
        scarred by a
rusty pipe.
She is NOT me
sensitivity never saved
a damn thing
for me....
I lived        she died
   (what are fathers for?)
I died all over her
corpse

I am HER
        her bloodied
sin
fills me too.
        (mommy...make it better)
        My scars are
deep
        I wish help...helped me
        Isn’t life special?
Aren't I?
where do I put my hate....
        where do I lie my head
so I can't remember
       what he felt like
the feel of his....
       the smell of...
where do I put my...
        body, my breath
my
        HATE.


~~~~ fini ~~~~