I Never Thought

Written by Hayley Douglas

AUTHOR NOTE: You hate it, you tell me okay. I take full responsibility, although it is the result of the 'Pairing Game' discussion on our list and an answer to the same challenge.


Mike sat at his desk, watching the mill around him. He had made the coffee, all three pots, one decaf and two regular. Just what everyone wanted, everyone bitched about, and everyone drank for him to make all over again. It was one of those metaphors that Brodie was always working on. Everyone drinks the coffee, no matter what kind of swill it was. In the break room they walk, then out.

Meldrick was sitting across from him, but he didn't raise his eyes when he felt his stares. Instead he doodled on his blotter, trying to ignore him. He sketched a fire in the corner of the paper with his pen and took a deep breath.

"Mikey," Meldrick whispered.

"What?" Mike croaked, throwing the pen down.

"You doin' okay?"

"Oh yeah, I'm fine," Mike replied without any sarcasm, but as he expected Meldrick did not say anything to that. That was okay by him though, no reason to bring him into this.

"Brodie's needing a place to stay," Kellerman said idly, knowing it would elicit a response from Lewis.

"That home wrecker?" He snorted.

"I don't have a home to wreck, Meldrick."

The other detective nodded distractedly and began filling out a report.

"Well do what you like, Mikey, but be warned."

Mike nodded and looked toward the A/V room. How bad could it really be? Then he remembered all of the times that Brodie had gotten on his nerves and nodded ruefully to himself. But he could not let the guy sleep in this place. Mike knew he saw it enough lately, especially with all of the Feds around. Looking back to Meldrick, who had decided to stay late to finish something, he pondered whether Meldrick thought he was dirty. Who did he think he was kidding? He was staying at work to avoid Barbara.

"Meldrick, do you think I took the money?"

Meldrick stopped writing and rolled his jaw. His eyes stayed on his paper, and the silence spoke his thoughts.

"Oh," Mike breathed, drumming his fingers against the desk, "I'm going to go see Brodie about staying at my place."


"Just," Mike interjected, "save it."

He pushed his chair back and stalked to the room nicknamed as 'Brodie's Lair'. Brodie was indeed inside, and since the shift was over, he was lying on the tile floor. Mike grimaced and pushed the door open. 'He doesn't snore, that's one point in favor.' The young man shifted and his head fell off the bag it had been propped up on.

"Aww man!" Mike heard him breathe, and he had to smile. This guy was so hilariously... Brodie. That sounded stupid to Mike, even in his head.

"Hey, Brodie, you can stay with me tonight. On my boat."

Brodie rolled over and blinked, trying to see whom it was.

"Oh, hey, Detective Kellerman. Do you mean it? Can I, I really stay at your place?"

"Yeah, but remember, it's a boat. C'mon, I'm getting out of here."

Brodie scrambled to his feet and looked around for something. He searched through the piles of videos before his eyes came to rest on the bag he had been using for a pillow. He blushed even in the dim light and picked it up.

"Okay, guess I'm ready. Thanks, Detective Kellerman."

"Jesus, call me Mike," he muttered.

"Whatever you say, Mike."

He stood aside and let Brodie pass before letting the door of the A/V room slam shut. He walked by his desk and Meldrick looked up, but did not say anything. Mike just walked past, unhooking his sports jacket from around the chair.

"I'm going home to get some sleep, but donít worry, I'll be in tomorrow to make your coffee."

Meldrick winced visibly and tapped the pen on his desk.

"You know I didnít mean that, Mikey."

"Whatever," then to Brodie, "Let's /go/, Brodie."

The man looked up from pretending not to listen to their little exchange and his glance flitted from Meldrick's face to Kellerman's back.

"Coming, Detective-- Mike."


Brodie looked out across the marina at all of the different boats that bobbed up and down in the water. He could appreciate Mike's wanting to live on the water. It had a calming effect, and he thought that no one needed that calming then Detective Kellerman. He could recognize the implications that the exchange had held. Meldrick did not believe Kellerman, or was unsure. He could not say he knew how it felt, but for some reason he wished there were something he could say to make someone feel better. It had felt good to tell Munch about Frank's medicine.

"Hey, Mike, you okay?" He asked idly.

Kellerman stiffened and hopped onto the deck of the last boat in the row along the dock.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Why shouldn't I be?"

"Well, just that," Mike held out his hand to help him on board and he hesitated before taking it, "This stupid Fed investigation. I know you, Mike, and you just wouldn't do something like that, you know?"

"Why do you think so?"

"Because... you're a good cop, Detective. I've seen your work, nothin's half ass."

"You willing to testify to that," Mike asked with a small smile.

"Yeah," He answered with compete seriousness. There was silence for a few moments. Mike stood in front of Brodie, and for a while nothing /needed/ to be said.

"You really believe that?"

"Yeah, Mike."

He sighed and turned to unlock his door.

"Thanks, Brodie, man. It means a lot."

"I know."


Mike came out of his bedroom with his comforter and a pillow. He did not have guests often, or even at all, so he salvaged what he could. Hell, the guy was on the streets more then he was lately. Looking around, he grabbed the sheet draped over his couch and pulled it loose.

"It's gorgeous out here, Mike," Brodie called from outside on his deck.

"Yeah well, I hope you like the couch as much as being out there," muttered Mike under his breath. 'It's a loveseat,' he corrected himself. Barely big enough for two people to sit on, let alone one man lay down and stretch out on.

Brodie wandered in and looked at the couch like it was some divine piece of architecture. Mike smirked and shook his head.

"Thanks again, Detective Kellerman. This beats the A/V room floor a mile."

"It's not that comfortable, so you want a beer or anything?"

Brodie went and sat down on the cushions and sank into them fondly.

"I don't really drink, but okay, I guess a beer would be nice."

Mike, who had anticipated the answer, plopped down on the couch with two beers and tossed one to Brodie. He fiddled with the top before popping it open and taking a long swallow. Beer did not burn like scotch, but it had the same effect later, and that was all that mattered. He leaned back and closed his eyes for a moment, trying /not/ to replay his day in his mind.

"So what happened with you and Lewis?"

Mike groaned and put the can to his lips.

"He thinks I took the money."

"No he doesn't."

"Yeah, and you know this how?" Mike asked frowning at the man.

"Call it a hunch--"

"Fat chance."

Brodie sighed and took a drink of his own beverage, deciding not to finish what he was saying, and that it was for the best that he not continue. So, instead he stared at the wall and drank his beer in measured time. Finally, Mike sighed.

"Okay, tell me why."

"Because he's your partner, and I've seen him arguing with Gee all the time over it. He keeps trying even though he knows Gee can't do anything when the Feds are involved."

Kellerman nodded gravely, and took another finishing swallow of the beer. He sat the open can on the small coffee table and put his elbows on his knees. Brodie stayed quiet, stretching out and brushing against Mike's thigh. He caught the transgression, but Mike did not.

"I think he /did/ believe me, but now he's not so sure. I could ask you to ask him..."

"And he would lie to me," Brodie said perfunctorily, finishing his beer as well.

"I donít have any more booze," Mike drawled out of pure laziness. He looked around and blinked.

"Don't you have a TV?"

"Of course, I just keep it in that until I need it." Mike gestured to a tall white, wicker armoire that had a pot of ivy spilling over one side.

"Guess it would be trouble to get it out..."

"Yes," whispered Mike with an arm over his eyes, "yes it would."

Brodie nodded, feeling awkward. More helpless then awkward, but he could not help but feel the thigh next to his. It was distracting, but felt warming and good. He slid a fraction of an inch closer to Mike, who remained still.

"Why are you letting this bother you so much? I mean, if you know your innocent, that should be enough, right?"

Mike let the hand drop, and it landed right in-between them. He looked into Brodie's brown eyes and shook his head.

"It /was/ enough at first. Then I see my face in the paper, and then the polygraph, then I'm told they're going to rat me out. I didn't say a goddamned thing and /they/ are going to give me up to the Feds. I'm fucking scared, okay, I don't want to not be a cop. This is all I fucking know," Kellerman scooted and sat up straight.

"Don't worry, Detective Kellerman" Brodie whispered, "something tells me they don't have a thing against you."

Brodie did not know what was on his mind when he leaned forward; maybe it was those damned eyes that seemed to hold so much pain. So much. You just wanted to lean in and kiss it all away. Mike pulled back, but was pierced by his Brodie's eyes that were full of desire. Desire that he did not even know that he had for the blond detective.

He moved in farther, and this time Mike stayed in his place, letting Brodie's lips press into his. It was soft at first, like the kid expected him to protest again, which he thought about, but did not pursue. When Brodie was sure of himself, he let the kiss become hungrier and reached blindly to hold Mike's head tight to his.

He only parted to breathe, and even that was close. Mike looked at him with deep scrutiny, and he knew that he must have been wondering what was going on in the photographer's head. Brodie situated himself so that he was on his knees and over Kellerman.

"Relax, Detective Kellerman." Mike could still feel his breath on his lips, and he swallowed, but he was not given time to think about being with another man further. Brodie's mouth found his again, and he dragged his tongue across Mike's lips with a passion he never knew Brodie had in him. The hands that worked the cameras grasped the sides of his head firmly, but felt soft and loving.

Mike surrendered to the questions and opened his mouth, wanting to feel if there was any difference between a man's love, and a woman's. Brodie accepted the invitation and slid his tongue in darting then out just as quickly as if afraid he would bite down suddenly. Finding that a man can be better then some women, Mike placed his hands on Brodie's small sides and just let them sit.

He had yet to respond, just letting the other man do all the work. Mike did not feel bad, and if anything, felt that this was Brodie's intention after all. The tongue returned and stayed within his mouth, making a tentative exploration. It was the sensuality that finally made him kiss him back, the fact that Brodie wasn't forcing a reaction, or slowing because of the lack of one. He pressed back against the man, and felt the kiss deepen before they had to push apart.

"I have to breathe," Brodie gasped, more to himself then Kellerman.

"That's always good to remember," replied Mike, moving back in to start a kiss of his own. It was one thing to be kissed by somebody, and slightly another to kiss somebody. The gratification of you and your lover's pleasure are because of you. Lover, Mike did not quite know if Brodie qualified yet, but as a hand slipped under his shirt and rubbed his back, he made it a definite possibility.

When they came apart this time, Brodie put his hands on Mike's buttons, but looked into his blue eyes before starting.

"You sure you want this, Mike? I mean, I'm just... I shouldn't--"

"I want you to," he said and then added, "please, I need someone tonight."


Mike nodded and moved so that they were face to face and he was not twisting to his side to enjoy kisses. This meant that one leg was on the edge of the couch and the other draped along the edge and down to the floor.

Suddenly, Brodie tore at his buttons. Popping each one through their respective hole and moving closer to Mike's chest as he did. He pushed away the fabric and groaned when he saw the white undershirt. Tugging Mike forward with sensual roughness, he lifted the hem. Mike raised his arms, and let Brodie peel off the small shirt.

There was a pause as Brodie caught some breaths and stared at the white skin. He had been with guys, not that he would admit that to Mike, but this was absolutely beautiful. He slid his hands up across the stomach and with a clumsiness that could only be 'Brodie' he felt Mike's face.

"You're beautiful, Detective Kellerman."

"I thought Sergeant Howard filled your dreams at night, Brodie..." He teased, idly brushing his hands across Brodie's still clothed chest.

"Ah, whatever, I always liked blondes, you know, anyway."

Brodie shrugged and bent lower to lick across Mike's collarbone, tasting the bitterness of cologne that had sunken into his skin. He continued to lick away at it, causing Mike to squirm under his attentions. He moved to the column of the neck and slid up it as fast as he could.

Mike was biting his lips in an attempt not to bite through his tongue with the ticklish-pleasure that tingled across his neck. He felt Brodie's breath at his cheek and turned into a kiss like it had been a smooth and planned motion. He still had a hard time believing this, but it felt so goddamned good... why not.

He put a hand on Brodie's shirt buttons, and pulled them apart one by one, nudging the print material apart. His eyes were closed, and he felt his way down to each smooth, plastic disc. He pulled out of the kiss, and looked down briefly to see what was causing the stop in progression. Tugging slightly on the shirt, it came loose of the slacks, and he undid the last button. A kiss was dropped onto his moist forehead, and he smiled. Unlike him, Brodie did not wear an undershirt.

The man was something to marvel at. Not that it was extraordinarily muscular or trim, just that was enough to make you really wonder what he did in his spare time. Mike kissed a path down Brodie's cheek, which was hard and angular compared to Annie's, and that other girl... he didn't quite remember her name. He stopped when they were cheek to cheek, and his ear was being tickled by ragged breath.

"I never thought I'd do this," Kellerman whispered, closing his eyes against the questions that kept popping up. His arms were covering Brodie's and his hands were cupped over his shoulder.

"Do- do you still want to? I know I'm a guy and all, but does that really matter... I just want to make you feel better. For at least a little while."

Mike swallowed when he figured out the meaning of that. It meant sex, and release without commitment to each other. It meant that they could screw each other silly, and not make a big deal over it tomorrow morning when they woke up in a guy's arms. Brodie was earning something though, and that was Mike's respect.

"C'mon, I got a bed you know."

They got up and Mike led Brodie by the hand to his small bed.

"Jeez, that's small," he murmured and pushed Mike lightly. He sat on the edge of the bed, and turned Mike so that they faced each other. He was limp save for standing, and Brodie was determined to make him an active participant. The light in the bedroom was minimal, but some yellow light filtered in from the living rooms standing-lamp. It was perfect, and he pushed Mike down onto his back.

Sliding up between Mike's legs, he rested an elbow on either side just under his armpits. He just stared down at Mike for a while, watching the breathing slow to normal.

"Come on, Brodie," Kellerman pleaded, arching up off of the bed, wanting to touch someone again.

"Whatever you say, Detective Kellerman."

The first task was lazily pulling himself up so that he was on his knees between Kellerman's legs. Then he reached for the belt buckle and tugged, causing Mike to arch farther up and groan. A smile played across Brodie's lips as he undid the thin leather and tossed it aside with a *clank*. His index finger circled the button on his waistband, then dragged down his fly.

"God you're killing me..." Kellerman hissed.

He deftly un-buttoned the pants and pulled them down with two fingers, and as he passed the socks, he hooked them in another pair. The end result was a pale man, dressed only in boxers, who had a deep flush spreading across his stomach and face.

"Silk, Detective?" Brodie asked admiring the tented bulge in the soft fabric.

"I'll fucking kill you if you don't do something," was his answer, but it lacked any real threat. It actually sounded soft.

Brodie bent for a kiss before slipping the boxers down and off his legs. Kellerman's cock stood almost fully erect in the dim-glow and there was nothing he could do but stare in admiration at it.

"You're beautiful," he said again, sliding down farther so that he could have easy access to the hardness. Mike's breath had doubled the rate of intake and he watched the chest rise and fall during the seconds it took him to dip his mouth down and drag his tongue across its head.

Mike arched high and shouted something between 'Oh God' and 'Fuck'. He watched in amusement as he settled back down, trembling due to the fact that Brodie had not moved from his spot. Flicking his tongue again, he saw Kellerman bite his lip and let out a strained moan.

Kellerman could not tell which side was up at the moment. All he felt was the small amount of suction being applied to the tip of his cock, and the tongue that gathered all of the pre-cum in slight, fast movements. Each one caused a bolt of lightning to tear through his mind. He forced himself to relax, because that seemed to be the only way he could get Brodie to do anything.

He did scream when Brodie plunged unexpectedly all the way down to the base, proving that he was no beginner in this, but Mike could have guessed that long before. The suction increased, and Brodie tightened his lips around him and slid up a couple of inches and then back down, increasing the suction again, then letting it slack off.

The tugging and pulling sent his mind to la-la-land and all Mike could do was take his hands and gently push down on Brodie's head. He was so close, and every movement and every change in motion got him closer.

"Please, just... fuck... please..." he begged for release.

His stomach clenched tight, and he arched his back into Brodie's wet, hot mouth as he finally fell over the edge. He came shouting Brodie's name again and again until all he could do was whisper it as he was milked dry by a persistent mouth.

He did not realize Brodie had moved up next to him until he heard a voice. He roused himself from the almost instant sleep, to hear.

"Was it what you expected, Detective Kellerman?"

"I never thought that you... or that I would do that," he replied sleepily.

"You needed it, I just hope you arenít so cranky all the time now."

Kellerman sat up and stretched, throwing a leg over Brodie and pushing up so that he straddled the younger man.

"I owe you something," he said idly, placing both hands on Brodie's chest and spreading them across them repeatedly.

"You don't have to, Mike, I mean it."

"I don't think so, Brodie, we'll see."

He undressed Brodie in record time, and then stopped in the middle of breathing, which was a hard feat.

"I've never done this before," he whispered, staring at Brodie's cock and then his face expectantly. He felt the man's hands in his hair, guiding him down slowly.

"It's simple, you just have to remember to- ah!" Mike could not resist letting his tongue out to taste the coppery tasting liquid that had been gathering. The hands in his hair tightened and urged him on. He slipped down over it and listened as Brodie moaned deeply, never pushing him too hard or all the way down. Mike increased the suction one last time after several adjustments, and the hands went rigid as Brodie came, shooting cum to the back of Mike's throat. He reflexively swallowed, and licked his lips when it was down.

"Detective Kellerman," he whispered.


"Do you feel any better?"

"Actually? I feel great."

Brodie pulled Mike up next to him softly; reaching for a blanket that had been pushed to the edge of the bed. Mike was older, but just the same, Brodie held Mike through the night, waiting until his breath slowed before he dared close his eyes.


Kellerman was awake first, burying his head deeper into Brodie's chest, and reaching for the portable alarm clock over his shoulder. He found the square box, and squinted at it. He groaned and shook the sleeping man.

"Huh, what? Mike?"

"Time to get up, we still have work to do... at least you do."

"C'mon Kellerman, cheer up a bit. You know I told you they don't have a thing against you..."

Mike placed a kiss on his lips and pushed out of bed.

"I'm taking a shower, you take all the time you need to wake up. There's stuff in the kitchen if you want to eat," Mike dragged a hand through his hair and yawned.

"You're beautiful, Mike," Brodie said, staring.

"Thanks," and then to himself, "I never thought I'd enjoy hearing that from a man..."


"Well, well, well, ain't we looking spiffy this morning?" Meldrick asked loudly when Mike walked in the squadroom with his familiar gait back in play.

"Yeah, I had a revelation last night, Meldrick. I just realized that I donít /have/ to make your fucking coffee, and by the way..."

In the A/V room, Brodie smiled to himself.


The End