I Never Thought
Written by Hayley Douglas
AUTHOR NOTE: You hate it, you tell me okay. I take full
responsibility, although it is the result of the 'Pairing Game'
discussion on our list and an answer to the same challenge.
Mike sat at his desk, watching the mill around him. He had made
the coffee, all three pots, one decaf and two regular. Just what
everyone wanted, everyone bitched about, and everyone drank for
him to make all over again. It was one of those metaphors that
Brodie was always working on. Everyone drinks the coffee, no
matter what kind of swill it was. In the break room they walk,
Meldrick was sitting across from him, but he didn't raise his
eyes when he felt his stares. Instead he doodled on his blotter,
trying to ignore him. He sketched a fire in the corner of the
paper with his pen and took a deep breath.
"Mikey," Meldrick whispered.
"What?" Mike croaked, throwing the pen down.
"You doin' okay?"
"Oh yeah, I'm fine," Mike replied without any sarcasm, but as
he expected Meldrick did not say anything to that. That was okay
by him though, no reason to bring him into this.
"Brodie's needing a place to stay," Kellerman said idly,
knowing it would elicit a response from Lewis.
"That home wrecker?" He snorted.
"I don't have a home to wreck, Meldrick."
The other detective nodded distractedly and began filling out a
"Well do what you like, Mikey, but be warned."
Mike nodded and looked toward the A/V room. How bad could it
really be? Then he remembered all of the times that Brodie had
gotten on his nerves and nodded ruefully to himself. But he could
not let the guy sleep in this place. Mike knew he saw it enough
lately, especially with all of the Feds around. Looking back to
Meldrick, who had decided to stay late to finish something, he
pondered whether Meldrick thought he was dirty. Who did he think
he was kidding? He was staying at work to avoid Barbara.
"Meldrick, do you think I took the money?"
Meldrick stopped writing and rolled his jaw. His eyes stayed on
his paper, and the silence spoke his thoughts.
"Oh," Mike breathed, drumming his fingers against the desk,
"I'm going to go see Brodie about staying at my place."
"Just," Mike interjected, "save it."
He pushed his chair back and stalked to the room nicknamed as
'Brodie's Lair'. Brodie was indeed inside, and since the shift
was over, he was lying on the tile floor. Mike grimaced and
pushed the door open. 'He doesn't snore, that's one point in
favor.' The young man shifted and his head fell off the bag it
had been propped up on.
"Aww man!" Mike heard him breathe, and he had to smile. This
guy was so hilariously... Brodie. That sounded stupid to Mike,
even in his head.
"Hey, Brodie, you can stay with me tonight. On my boat."
Brodie rolled over and blinked, trying to see whom it was.
"Oh, hey, Detective Kellerman. Do you mean it? Can I, I really
stay at your place?"
"Yeah, but remember, it's a boat. C'mon, I'm getting out of
Brodie scrambled to his feet and looked around for something. He
searched through the piles of videos before his eyes came to rest
on the bag he had been using for a pillow. He blushed even in the
dim light and picked it up.
"Okay, guess I'm ready. Thanks, Detective Kellerman."
"Jesus, call me Mike," he muttered.
"Whatever you say, Mike."
He stood aside and let Brodie pass before letting the door of the
A/V room slam shut. He walked by his desk and Meldrick looked up,
but did not say anything. Mike just walked past, unhooking his
sports jacket from around the chair.
"I'm going home to get some sleep, but donít worry, I'll be in
tomorrow to make your coffee."
Meldrick winced visibly and tapped the pen on his desk.
"You know I didnít mean that, Mikey."
"Whatever," then to Brodie, "Let's /go/, Brodie."
The man looked up from pretending not to listen to their little
exchange and his glance flitted from Meldrick's face to
"Coming, Detective-- Mike."
Brodie looked out across the marina at all of the different boats
that bobbed up and down in the water. He could appreciate Mike's
wanting to live on the water. It had a calming effect, and he
thought that no one needed that calming then Detective Kellerman.
He could recognize the implications that the exchange had held.
Meldrick did not believe Kellerman, or was unsure. He could not
say he knew how it felt, but for some reason he wished there were
something he could say to make someone feel better. It had felt
good to tell Munch about Frank's medicine.
"Hey, Mike, you okay?" He asked idly.
Kellerman stiffened and hopped onto the deck of the last boat in
the row along the dock.
"Yeah, I'm fine. Why shouldn't I be?"
"Well, just that," Mike held out his hand to help him on board
and he hesitated before taking it, "This stupid Fed
investigation. I know you, Mike, and you just wouldn't do
something like that, you know?"
"Why do you think so?"
"Because... you're a good cop, Detective. I've seen your work,
nothin's half ass."
"You willing to testify to that," Mike asked with a small
"Yeah," He answered with compete seriousness. There was silence
for a few moments. Mike stood in front of Brodie, and for a while
nothing /needed/ to be said.
"You really believe that?"
He sighed and turned to unlock his door.
"Thanks, Brodie, man. It means a lot."
Mike came out of his bedroom with his comforter and a pillow. He
did not have guests often, or even at all, so he salvaged what he
could. Hell, the guy was on the streets more then he was lately.
Looking around, he grabbed the sheet draped over his couch and
pulled it loose.
"It's gorgeous out here, Mike," Brodie called from outside on
"Yeah well, I hope you like the couch as much as being out
there," muttered Mike under his breath. 'It's a loveseat,' he
corrected himself. Barely big enough for two people to sit on,
let alone one man lay down and stretch out on.
Brodie wandered in and looked at the couch like it was some
divine piece of architecture. Mike smirked and shook his head.
"Thanks again, Detective Kellerman. This beats the A/V room
floor a mile."
"It's not that comfortable, so you want a beer or anything?"
Brodie went and sat down on the cushions and sank into them
"I don't really drink, but okay, I guess a beer would be nice."
Mike, who had anticipated the answer, plopped down on the couch
with two beers and tossed one to Brodie. He fiddled with the top
before popping it open and taking a long swallow. Beer did not
burn like scotch, but it had the same effect later, and that was
all that mattered. He leaned back and closed his eyes for a
moment, trying /not/ to replay his day in his mind.
"So what happened with you and Lewis?"
Mike groaned and put the can to his lips.
"He thinks I took the money."
"No he doesn't."
"Yeah, and you know this how?" Mike asked frowning at the man.
"Call it a hunch--"
Brodie sighed and took a drink of his own beverage, deciding not
to finish what he was saying, and that it was for the best that
he not continue. So, instead he stared at the wall and drank his
beer in measured time. Finally, Mike sighed.
"Okay, tell me why."
"Because he's your partner, and I've seen him arguing with Gee
all the time over it. He keeps trying even though he knows Gee
can't do anything when the Feds are involved."
Kellerman nodded gravely, and took another finishing swallow of
the beer. He sat the open can on the small coffee table and put
his elbows on his knees. Brodie stayed quiet, stretching out and
brushing against Mike's thigh. He caught the transgression, but
Mike did not.
"I think he /did/ believe me, but now he's not so sure. I could
ask you to ask him..."
"And he would lie to me," Brodie said perfunctorily, finishing
his beer as well.
"I donít have any more booze," Mike drawled out of pure
laziness. He looked around and blinked.
"Don't you have a TV?"
"Of course, I just keep it in that until I need it." Mike
gestured to a tall white, wicker armoire that had a pot of ivy
spilling over one side.
"Guess it would be trouble to get it out..."
"Yes," whispered Mike with an arm over his eyes, "yes it
Brodie nodded, feeling awkward. More helpless then awkward, but
he could not help but feel the thigh next to his. It was
distracting, but felt warming and good. He slid a fraction of an
inch closer to Mike, who remained still.
"Why are you letting this bother you so much? I mean, if you
know your innocent, that should be enough, right?"
Mike let the hand drop, and it landed right in-between them. He
looked into Brodie's brown eyes and shook his head.
"It /was/ enough at first. Then I see my face in the paper, and
then the polygraph, then I'm told they're going to rat me out. I
didn't say a goddamned thing and /they/ are going to give me up
to the Feds. I'm fucking scared, okay, I don't want to not be a
cop. This is all I fucking know," Kellerman scooted and sat up
"Don't worry, Detective Kellerman" Brodie whispered, "something
tells me they don't have a thing against you."
Brodie did not know what was on his mind when he leaned forward;
maybe it was those damned eyes that seemed to hold so much pain.
So much. You just wanted to lean in and kiss it all away. Mike
pulled back, but was pierced by his Brodie's eyes that were full
of desire. Desire that he did not even know that he had for the
He moved in farther, and this time Mike stayed in his place,
letting Brodie's lips press into his. It was soft at first, like
the kid expected him to protest again, which he thought about,
but did not pursue. When Brodie was sure of himself, he let the
kiss become hungrier and reached blindly to hold Mike's head
tight to his.
He only parted to breathe, and even that was close. Mike looked
at him with deep scrutiny, and he knew that he must have been
wondering what was going on in the photographer's head. Brodie
situated himself so that he was on his knees and over Kellerman.
"Relax, Detective Kellerman." Mike could still feel his breath
on his lips, and he swallowed, but he was not given time to think
about being with another man further. Brodie's mouth found his
again, and he dragged his tongue across Mike's lips with a
passion he never knew Brodie had in him. The hands that worked
the cameras grasped the sides of his head firmly, but felt soft
Mike surrendered to the questions and opened his mouth, wanting
to feel if there was any difference between a man's love, and a
woman's. Brodie accepted the invitation and slid his tongue in
darting then out just as quickly as if afraid he would bite down
suddenly. Finding that a man can be better then some women, Mike
placed his hands on Brodie's small sides and just let them sit.
He had yet to respond, just letting the other man do all the
work. Mike did not feel bad, and if anything, felt that this was
Brodie's intention after all. The tongue returned and stayed
within his mouth, making a tentative exploration. It was the
sensuality that finally made him kiss him back, the fact that
Brodie wasn't forcing a reaction, or slowing because of the lack
of one. He pressed back against the man, and felt the kiss deepen
before they had to push apart.
"I have to breathe," Brodie gasped, more to himself then
"That's always good to remember," replied Mike, moving back in
to start a kiss of his own. It was one thing to be kissed by
somebody, and slightly another to kiss somebody. The
gratification of you and your lover's pleasure are because of
you. Lover, Mike did not quite know if Brodie qualified yet, but
as a hand slipped under his shirt and rubbed his back, he made it
a definite possibility.
When they came apart this time, Brodie put his hands on Mike's
buttons, but looked into his blue eyes before starting.
"You sure you want this, Mike? I mean, I'm just... I
"I want you to," he said and then added, "please, I need
Mike nodded and moved so that they were face to face and he was
not twisting to his side to enjoy kisses. This meant that one leg
was on the edge of the couch and the other draped along the edge
and down to the floor.
Suddenly, Brodie tore at his buttons. Popping each one through
their respective hole and moving closer to Mike's chest as he
did. He pushed away the fabric and groaned when he saw the white
undershirt. Tugging Mike forward with sensual roughness, he
lifted the hem. Mike raised his arms, and let Brodie peel off the
There was a pause as Brodie caught some breaths and stared at the
white skin. He had been with guys, not that he would admit that
to Mike, but this was absolutely beautiful. He slid his hands up
across the stomach and with a clumsiness that could only be
'Brodie' he felt Mike's face.
"You're beautiful, Detective Kellerman."
"I thought Sergeant Howard filled your dreams at night,
Brodie..." He teased, idly brushing his hands across Brodie's
still clothed chest.
"Ah, whatever, I always liked blondes, you know, anyway."
Brodie shrugged and bent lower to lick across Mike's collarbone,
tasting the bitterness of cologne that had sunken into his skin.
He continued to lick away at it, causing Mike to squirm under his
attentions. He moved to the column of the neck and slid up it as
fast as he could.
Mike was biting his lips in an attempt not to bite through his
tongue with the ticklish-pleasure that tingled across his neck.
He felt Brodie's breath at his cheek and turned into a kiss like
it had been a smooth and planned motion. He still had a hard time
believing this, but it felt so goddamned good... why not.
He put a hand on Brodie's shirt buttons, and pulled them apart
one by one, nudging the print material apart. His eyes were
closed, and he felt his way down to each smooth, plastic disc. He
pulled out of the kiss, and looked down briefly to see what was
causing the stop in progression. Tugging slightly on the shirt,
it came loose of the slacks, and he undid the last button. A kiss
was dropped onto his moist forehead, and he smiled. Unlike him,
Brodie did not wear an undershirt.
The man was something to marvel at. Not that it was
extraordinarily muscular or trim, just that was enough to make
you really wonder what he did in his spare time. Mike kissed a
path down Brodie's cheek, which was hard and angular compared to
Annie's, and that other girl... he didn't quite remember her
name. He stopped when they were cheek to cheek, and his ear was
being tickled by ragged breath.
"I never thought I'd do this," Kellerman whispered, closing his
eyes against the questions that kept popping up. His arms were
covering Brodie's and his hands were cupped over his shoulder.
"Do- do you still want to? I know I'm a guy and all, but does
that really matter... I just want to make you feel better. For at
least a little while."
Mike swallowed when he figured out the meaning of that. It meant
sex, and release without commitment to each other. It meant that
they could screw each other silly, and not make a big deal over
it tomorrow morning when they woke up in a guy's arms. Brodie was
earning something though, and that was Mike's respect.
"C'mon, I got a bed you know."
They got up and Mike led Brodie by the hand to his small bed.
"Jeez, that's small," he murmured and pushed Mike lightly. He
sat on the edge of the bed, and turned Mike so that they faced
each other. He was limp save for standing, and Brodie was
determined to make him an active participant. The light in the
bedroom was minimal, but some yellow light filtered in from the
living rooms standing-lamp. It was perfect, and he pushed Mike
down onto his back.
Sliding up between Mike's legs, he rested an elbow on either side
just under his armpits. He just stared down at Mike for a while,
watching the breathing slow to normal.
"Come on, Brodie," Kellerman pleaded, arching up off of the
bed, wanting to touch someone again.
"Whatever you say, Detective Kellerman."
The first task was lazily pulling himself up so that he was on
his knees between Kellerman's legs. Then he reached for the belt
buckle and tugged, causing Mike to arch farther up and groan. A
smile played across Brodie's lips as he undid the thin leather
and tossed it aside with a *clank*. His index finger circled the
button on his waistband, then dragged down his fly.
"God you're killing me..." Kellerman hissed.
He deftly un-buttoned the pants and pulled them down with two
fingers, and as he passed the socks, he hooked them in another
pair. The end result was a pale man, dressed only in boxers, who
had a deep flush spreading across his stomach and face.
"Silk, Detective?" Brodie asked admiring the tented bulge in
the soft fabric.
"I'll fucking kill you if you don't do something," was his
answer, but it lacked any real threat. It actually sounded soft.
Brodie bent for a kiss before slipping the boxers down and off
his legs. Kellerman's cock stood almost fully erect in the
dim-glow and there was nothing he could do but stare in
admiration at it.
"You're beautiful," he said again, sliding down farther so that
he could have easy access to the hardness. Mike's breath had
doubled the rate of intake and he watched the chest rise and fall
during the seconds it took him to dip his mouth down and drag his
tongue across its head.
Mike arched high and shouted something between 'Oh God' and
'Fuck'. He watched in amusement as he settled back down,
trembling due to the fact that Brodie had not moved from his
spot. Flicking his tongue again, he saw Kellerman bite his lip
and let out a strained moan.
Kellerman could not tell which side was up at the moment. All he
felt was the small amount of suction being applied to the tip of
his cock, and the tongue that gathered all of the pre-cum in
slight, fast movements. Each one caused a bolt of lightning to
tear through his mind. He forced himself to relax, because that
seemed to be the only way he could get Brodie to do anything.
He did scream when Brodie plunged unexpectedly all the way down
to the base, proving that he was no beginner in this, but Mike
could have guessed that long before. The suction increased, and
Brodie tightened his lips around him and slid up a couple of
inches and then back down, increasing the suction again, then
letting it slack off.
The tugging and pulling sent his mind to la-la-land and all Mike
could do was take his hands and gently push down on Brodie's
head. He was so close, and every movement and every change in
motion got him closer.
"Please, just... fuck... please..." he begged for release.
His stomach clenched tight, and he arched his back into Brodie's
wet, hot mouth as he finally fell over the edge. He came shouting
Brodie's name again and again until all he could do was whisper
it as he was milked dry by a persistent mouth.
He did not realize Brodie had moved up next to him until he heard
a voice. He roused himself from the almost instant sleep, to
"Was it what you expected, Detective Kellerman?"
"I never thought that you... or that I would do that," he
"You needed it, I just hope you arenít so cranky all the time
Kellerman sat up and stretched, throwing a leg over Brodie and
pushing up so that he straddled the younger man.
"I owe you something," he said idly, placing both hands on
Brodie's chest and spreading them across them repeatedly.
"You don't have to, Mike, I mean it."
"I don't think so, Brodie, we'll see."
He undressed Brodie in record time, and then stopped in the
middle of breathing, which was a hard feat.
"I've never done this before," he whispered, staring at
Brodie's cock and then his face expectantly. He felt the man's
hands in his hair, guiding him down slowly.
"It's simple, you just have to remember to- ah!" Mike could not
resist letting his tongue out to taste the coppery tasting liquid
that had been gathering. The hands in his hair tightened and
urged him on. He slipped down over it and listened as Brodie
moaned deeply, never pushing him too hard or all the way down.
Mike increased the suction one last time after several
adjustments, and the hands went rigid as Brodie came, shooting
cum to the back of Mike's throat. He reflexively swallowed, and
licked his lips when it was down.
"Detective Kellerman," he whispered.
"Do you feel any better?"
"Actually? I feel great."
Brodie pulled Mike up next to him softly; reaching for a blanket
that had been pushed to the edge of the bed. Mike was older, but
just the same, Brodie held Mike through the night, waiting until
his breath slowed before he dared close his eyes.
Kellerman was awake first, burying his head deeper into Brodie's
chest, and reaching for the portable alarm clock over his
shoulder. He found the square box, and squinted at it. He groaned
and shook the sleeping man.
"Huh, what? Mike?"
"Time to get up, we still have work to do... at least you do."
"C'mon Kellerman, cheer up a bit. You know I told you they
don't have a thing against you..."
Mike placed a kiss on his lips and pushed out of bed.
"I'm taking a shower, you take all the time you need to wake
up. There's stuff in the kitchen if you want to eat," Mike
dragged a hand through his hair and yawned.
"You're beautiful, Mike," Brodie said, staring.
"Thanks," and then to himself, "I never thought I'd enjoy
hearing that from a man..."
"Well, well, well, ain't we looking spiffy this morning?"
Meldrick asked loudly when Mike walked in the squadroom with his
familiar gait back in play.
"Yeah, I had a revelation last night, Meldrick. I just realized
that I donít /have/ to make your fucking coffee, and by the
In the A/V room, Brodie smiled to himself.