A Letter That Was Never Sent
Written by Dasha
How do I feel when I'm in love? What do I do when I feel that way? Can anyone see it? Can anyone feel it? What's behind this neverending conspiracy called "love"?
Sometimes I see Kay smiling softly when Munch makes a fool of himself.
Sometimes I see Meldrick losing control and saying some incredibly sweet but cheesy line. Sometimes I see Gee's face lighten up with one of his sincere smiles. Is this it?
Sometimes I notice a worried look on Munch's face-someone mentioned Kay's private life. Sometimes I see Mike become nervous and focused at the same time-Dr. Cox walked into the squad room. Sometimes I see my reflection smile at me from a car window-Frank lit up his cigarette. Perhaps, that's it?
I am not sure why this forever-vague term haunts me and teases me. Why does it run or hide? Why does it hurt and nurture at the same time? Why do I feel it when I think of you?
Who would have thought-I disliked you for so long. Almost too loud, too bright, to energetic for my senses. A spark of enthusiasm or pain. Why do I love you?
Eyes almost too intense, lips almost too tempting, a hand almost too close... Do you remember? No?
I just put the "CLOSE" sign on the door, and you showed up. Oblivious, drunk, lost, laughing, soaking wet...You walked with a smirk, and then you broke down. You cried for the longest moment of my life. Your destruction and anger were electrifying, suffocating, and unstoppable. Your exhaustion and last grasp for fairness and truth were pleading and reaching out. I held you. Then you kissed me, pushed me away, and stumbled out of the door leaving me.
So, how do I answer all these questions, Mike? Where do I find them? How can I do it? There was only a hint in your kiss...