Kinks #1: Auto-Exhaustive Asphyxiation
Written by De Orakle
Warnings: Fairly graphic description of auto-erotic asphyxiation. I don't
particularly condone this, but then again, I've never tried it. I'm sure I
don't need to mention that it is extremely dangerous, and should be fully
researched before attempted.
"...No, Brian, it has absolutely nothing to do with car fumes," the
wry tones rang out over the near-empty squadroom, causing Brian Cassidy to
wince. Seeing the younger man sink further into his desk chair, John Munch
softened the edge of his words slightly, from flesh-wound level, down to
papercut. "From Latin, auto, meaning of itself."
"So, it's choking while..." a faint pink blush tinged the young detective's
"...while choking the chicken," Munch finished, a half-smile playing on his
lips, eyebrows waggling suggestively over the frames of his glasses.
"But that's, that's sick!" At his outburst, a few of the other overtime
workers briefly lifted their heads from behind mountains of paperwork.
Embarrassed, Brian leaned over the desk, taking care not to stain his shirt
with ink from the numerous newspapers that Munch kept strewn all over their
workspace. He whispered harshly, "I mean, all this other...stuff you've
been talking about, I mean, it's perverted. But I understand that it's not
all about the sex, it's about the power trip. But why in the name of all
things that are holy, would someone...do that to themselves?"
Sitting back arms crossed behind his head, Munch smirked. "To each his own.
It's a trip alright..."
Brian was sure his jaw dropped open.
"...or so I
hear," Munch continued. "Think about it."
Brian's brow scrunched in confusion, the gears in his head squeaking under
the strain of a busy dayshift stretched four hours too long. Frustration
ebbed in him; Munch knew so many things he'd never even heard of.
Admittedly, they were seedy, twisted things that a good Catholic boy had no
business knowing, but when his ignorance made him look like a dumb Mick in
Hot, coffee-stale breath tickled Brian's cheek, raising the short hairs of
his five o'clock shadow. He jumped, not having noticed Munch leaning over
to his side of the desk, the older detective's face, scant inches away from
Brian fought the urge to pull back, an instilled instinct held over from
challenging top dog all his life. Oblivious to his younger partner's inner
machinations, Munch continued in a conspiratorial whisper.
"So you've got your slipknot around your neck, could be anything. Not rope,
it chafes, but cord, silk, most common's a belt. Most prefer the leather,
and that's called..." Munch prompted."A fetish," Brian supplied.
"So the belt's around your neck, heavy, the buckle's right in the hollow of
your throat, hanging slack. You start pulling the belt tighter,
inch...by...inch The soft suede underside is pressing against your neck.
The cold metal of the buckle brushing the tiniest fraction of skin along
your throat is turning you on like you can't believe."
Brian licked his suddenly dry lips, mentally chastising himself for the
brief flash of...whatever...that had struck his mind, and southward. After
all, he reminded himself, it was just Munch who was talking, no different
than the daily rants about the government's latest conspiracy.
"You've got yourself going, the belt's getting tighter. The leather's
warming up against your skin, the cold...hard, buckle is starting to push
against your windpipe. Your hand's starting to shake, but you don't want to
yank the belt too tight, or you might crush something vital in either hand.
You start seeing spots, most likely from the lack of oxygen, but you never
know..."Another leer, and Brian swallowed hard. 'It's lack of sleep,' he told
himself. 'And too much caffeine. You're not a pervert.' But he couldn't
deny that the older man's words, whispered, hissed, breathlessly into his
ear was having an effect on him.
"Barely breathing from your nose, you start to lose circulation in your hand
until it's someone else holding the belt, someone else holding
your....assets. All the blood has been forced downwards, so every nerve
from neck down is ten times as sensitive."
As Munch drew out his hissing s's, a shiver slithered slowly down Cassidy's
back, freezing hot, settling heavily at the base of his spine. He squirmed
in his seat, causing the creaky plastic chair to squeal in a sympathetic
"Your arms, legs, are tingling from loss of circulation, and if you time it
right, you let go of the belt the second you, as you would say, "reach your
intended goal." The goal-reaching, mixed with the relief of being able to
take a breath into your oxygen-starved lungs, increases your pleasure a
thousand fold. An ultimate headrush in both senses of the word."
Munch sat impassively back in his chair, cool and collected in his
mortician's suit. He was a crisp contrast to Brian's rolled-up sleeves,
hair plastered to his forehead with sticky sweat, a red-hot blush only now
subsiding down his brow, cheeks, ears, neck.
"Or so I've heard." Munch finished, his voice now returned to its usual
nasal tone. "Well, that's today's lesson. As for my tutoring fee, you can
finish the paperwork on the Stead case while I get a cup of the caffeine
injected sludge that passes for coffee around here." With that, he stood to
"Yrk," Brian cleared his throat. "Uh...could you get me some water?"
A raised eyebrow, and he was walking to the breakroom, muttering about,
"John Munch, sex crimes detective and waterboy."
Brian let out a breath, ran a hand over his damp brow, and rubbed his
burning eyelids with a thumb and forefinger. He shook his head, and
returned his attention to the folder in front of him, its contents spilled
and obscured amidst the newspaper and dissarrayed stack of files. His right
hand slid down to his pocket, searching for a caramel amid lint and spare
change, while he surveyed the desk for the arresting officer's report.
Still rummaging through his pocket, Brian's thumb brushed against his heavy,
leather, belt, and he paused. He sat there for a few moments, running his
thumb over its slightly roughened edge, trying to suppress the heated chill
that coursed through him. Hearing the footsteps signifying his partner's
return, he hurriedly lay his hand deliberately casual on the desk. He
focused his sight on the illegible reports in front of him.
A cup of water was placed on a folder before him, teetering precariously on
the bulky paper. Brian grabbed it, gulping the cool water down in one long
pull, then crumpled the paper cup, tossing it into the trash can a few feet
away. "Thanks," Brian muttered absently, then looked up. Munch was shuffling
through papers, his jacket hanging on the back of his chair, glasses sliding
down the prominent nose. Brian simply stared, trying to reconcile the man
before him with the whispers still echoing through his mind.
"Hey, thanks, partner," Brian said clearly, "I mean it."
Munch gave him a long, odd, look, then returned to his quest for the elusive
Keeping his gaze on his partner a moment longer, Brian tried to work through
the jumbling of his head, trying to verbalize his shifting perspective. It
was too late though; he utterly exhausted. He extinguished all
work-unrelated thoughts from his head and focused at the task at hand.
Still, in the back of his mind, a tiny, flickering, spark still persevered,
merely awaiting the proper kindling to blossom into burning hot flame.